I’m not sure how this whole thing got started, but everywhere I go, there are women who are either confused or uncertain about letting a man pay for the first date. I don’t know when it started, but I’m over it and you should be too.
Some people, both men and women, like to blame feminism for women and men being confused about who pays for the first date, but I don’t believe that. Feminism is about equality between men and women, and letting a man pay is an equalizer. Let me explain.
Feminism has brought women a long way, but men still have the upper hand in so many ways. A picture of Kim Kardashian’s surgically- enhanced ass “breaks the internet”, men don’t have to worry about getting pregnant, all of the images of women in the media revolve around a man’s idea of who and what a woman should be and women are constantly being told to date around a man’s pathology, lest she be alone for the rest of her life.
This is what we’re dealing with here. It’s still a man’s world, and women have been duped into giving men even more control then they already had. So now you’re thinking you have to pay for dates and shoulder other responsibilities with a man, while he has given up nothing. So little is required of men in relationships these days, and women still feel like they need to take on more.
Male privilege is alive and well, especially in relationships. Don’t be fooled.
Women have a crazy amount of power in this world, but we often don’t harness or use it to our advantage…but that’s another article for another day.
Back to men paying for dates.
One thing has changed, and that’s the fact that women often out-earn men. But this alone is not enough of a reason to pay for a date. So, you make more money than him, so what? Do things and go on dates that are within his means. Whether he buys you an ice cream and takes you for a walk in the park or sailing around the tip of Manhattan; it’s within the realm of what he can afford.
Also, be courteous when you’re on a date, don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu. And don’t throw around how much money you make, who cares? You’re not on the date to compare salaries, you’re there to connect with the man who’s sitting across from you.
Being financially compatible is important, only because you want to be on the same page as far as lifestyle is concerned. But it doesn’t need to be a deal-breaker.
My point is this: there are a lot of dating strategies that seem old fashioned, but in this day and age those things help to equalize a woman’s relationship with a man.
Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you.
photo credit And That’s Why You’re Single (ATWYS) wrote an article called How do You Attract the People You Want? And she starts off by saying this: “Over the years I have come to accept that there are men I will never be able to pull for anything substantive. Those guys have far too many options, and I just don’t bring enough to the table to be considered a contender. That has led me to take second looks at other guys. I’ve had to re-adjust my type. That’s life. If you’re “never” able to get the guys you want, then you’re shooting out of your league. Plain and simple. There’s no easy way to say that. Either that or there are a few critical personality flaws that are turning men off.” I think she’s right on some level, but there are a lot of layers to consider if you’re trying to date someone “out of your league”. The problem with…read more»