One thing I’ve noticed lately is how many women say they want love and to meet the right man, but constantly put dating on the back burner. I must’ve had a dozen conversations this week with women saying the exact same thing.
As a woman, you can be a go-getter in every area of your life, but when it comes to dating, men and love you’re perfectly comfortable waiting for life, God or the Universe to drop the perfect man into your lap, abdicating all responsibility. The only area of life I’ve seen really awesome women act like shy little girls is when it comes to dating. Everyone seems to think that the “love comes when you least expect it” meme is a strategy that works for everyone, but nothing could be further from the truth.
We’ve all heard those stories of women who talk about how they just gave up on dating and went about their business then the perfect man showed up. But you want to know what’s more common? Women who decided they wanted love, a relationship, a husband or marriage and started dating to meet the right person.
You don’t need to make yourself crazy with dating, but finding love needs attention and intention. It’s quite possible that you could stay on the path you’re on and meet someone tomorrow without any real intention or effort, but why put all of your eggs in that basket?
Women have come a long way in this world, but we’ve gotten lost in these romantic notions about falling in love and how easy it’s all supposed to be. We forget how calculating people were in previous centuries about forming bonds and relationships and using marriage as part of a larger strategy. We’ve come a long way, thank goodness, and we are so fortunate that we are able to marry for love, but it still requires something of you.
This is something that men really understand. When a man is ready to settle down, he goes looking for a wife. This is why timing for men is so important; if you meet the right man at the wrong time in his life, the relationship is not going anywhere. But when he decides he wants to get serious with a woman, his focus and mindset start to shift. Instead of dating women half his age who are more focused on the party scene, he starts looking for women who are ready to be a wife and possibly a mother.
So why do you expect things to be different for you?
Are you caught up in your own version of Cinderella, Rapunzel, Snow White or Sleeping Beauty?
Are you waiting for Prince Charming to come and save you from yourself? Are you waiting for a man to give you a reason to make love a priority? If you are, this is how you lose your sense of agency while dating and in relationships. Waiting for a man to come dig you out of your life, instead of making a conscious choice and effort to make love and dating a priority.
Don’t get sucked into the vortex that is putting love on the back burner.
If you want love, you’ve got to date and get to know someone.
If you want to get married and have a family, set an intention to make it happen.
If you freak out and get clingy, needy and desperate when a man doesn’t text you right back, learn why you do what you do and how to handle it.
Are you hiding out because you’ve gained some weight or you’re not as young as you used to be, and you’re afraid of being rejected? Learn how to work with where you are and with who you are to find the love that’s right for you.
Knock it off
It’s time for YOU to make a change! So…
If you’re stuck in the same dating pattern and you’re not doing anything to change it, I’m calling YOU out.
If you keep settling for being a booty call when what you want is the ring, I’m calling YOU out.
If you keep dating the same guy over and over and over again, but he just has a different name, I’m calling YOU out.
If you keep asking yourself where are all the good men, but you keep going back to the same places and doing the same things you’ve been doing but you’re not meeting the right kind of men, I’m calling YOU out.
If you read my newsletter week after week, but haven’t changed a damn thing in your dating life, I’m calling YOU out.
It’s time to take your love life to the next level, the only question is are you ready?
And I’m going to take it a step further, if dating and love is not a priority for you, then stop obsessing about it. Stop reading every article about love, men, dating and relationships that comes your way. Stop taking all of those BuzzFeed quizzes about who your celebrity boyfriend should be and go do something else.
Love, Trenia to the Rescue
But, if you’re putting dating and love on the back burner because you’re afraid you won’t find love or meet the right man, I’m here to HELP.
If you want love, but you keep meeting all of the wrong men or if you’re not meeting any men at all, I’m here to HELP.
If you feel like there might be something internally that’s preventing you from having the love you want, I’m here to HELP.
Get Ready for Love Webinar
On Thursday, September 18th at 7PM, I’m hosting a free webinar called Get Ready for Love, and I want to see YOU there!
On this webinar you’re going to learn:
Why you keep putting love on the back burner and how to break the cycle
Why dating isn’t working for you and what to do about it
The #1 thing every woman needs to know about men
It’s time to make a change in your love life, and it starts NOW.
I hope to see you on September 18th.
You have been lied to about marriage and children, and I want to help you get it right before you end up in a situation that you’ll later regret. If you want marriage and children, NOW is the time to be making the choices and decisions that will align with the kind of future you want for yourself. You know I’m not the kind of Love Coach that issues warnings or uses scare tactics to get you to make sweeping changes in how you’re dating…But it’s time we had a very sobering conversation about your future. Just for a moment, I want you to put aside all of your utopic ideals and fantasies about having it all. Suspend just for the duration of this article everything you’ve read or heard about women getting married later in life and having children well into their 40’s, and let’s get real. I know I’m going to sound like an old school marm, but…read more»