I will be going on hiatus until after the New Year. That means you won’t hear from me again until then. But there’s articles aplenty here, in case you need a dating and love pick-me-up during the holidays.
I also have some really cool stuff percolating behind the scenes over here at Love, Trenia LLC so get ready!
Keep Dating Simple for the Holidays
In my dating workshop a few nights ago, a woman asked me “if there is one piece of advice you would want us to remember when we walk out of here, what would it be?”
This is what I told her, and the same applies to you:
I’m not sure when dating got so complicated, but it always boils down to 3 things:
- See and be seen by single men who are looking for a relationship. This could mean any number of things from online dating and attending singles events, to letting a friend know you’re looking to meet someone, so that she can keep an eye out on your behalf. Dating isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t have to be complicated.
- Be about the business of becoming the woman you most want to be, so that you’re able to sustain a healthy, loving relationship. Many people think that marriage and awesome relationships are like a perfectly wrapped box from Tiffany’s coming down an assembly line, filled with the gift they’ve been waiting for. But in truth, relationships are plain old empty boxes that must be filled up by you and your partner. So if you want to be in a relationship full of love, trust, adventure and beauty, that’s what you both bring to it or create together. On the flip side, if you both bring animosity, unchecked insecurity and a lack of understanding, that’s what your relationship will contain.
- If he’s not showing up for you and following through, cut him loose. More women have fallen into the abyss of holding onto a man just for the sake of having a man, and it’s not necessary. Showing up and follow through are the bedrocks of dating. If a man can’t do that with consistency, he’s not your guy. I don’t care how cute he is, how much money he makes, or if you think he’s the perfect match. If he’s not doing the most basic thing to create a relationship, cut him loose.
Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to implement every single piece of dating advice you’ve ever heard, even if it came from me. Be consistent with the basics and you won’t go wrong.
Here’s the truth: If you’ve never seen anyone get it right, it’s hard to believe it can be done. The biggest challenge my clients often face is allowing themselves to believe that the kind of relationship they want is really possible. A woman will tell me something along the lines of “I really want to get married and have a family”. But the deeper we dig, what’s discovered is that she doesn’t trust men or even like them very much. Now, can you imagine how challenging it must be to find a husband if you don’t believe that men can be trusted? I’m not saying you’re not justified if you don’t trust men, but that core belief about men will constantly work against you. When you keep telling yourself that you’re ready to get married and you want to meet the right man, but deep down you believe any man that comes into your life will hurt you, there’s a…read more»