What if You Never Got Married?

September 7, 2012

What if you never got married? How would you live your life?

What would you spend your time thinking about and focusing on if you knew the perfect man for you was never going to show up?

How would you spend your time?

If you are able to sit with yourself and honestly answer these questions, you will have succeeded in taking the sting out of the stress and frustration you might feel about still being single. It’s the attachment to the idea that our lives are supposed to be a certain way by a certain time that stresses us out.  The reason why men typically have the upper hand in relationships these days is because they’re not pressed about getting married, which makes it a lot easier for them to walk away if it’s not what they want. Whereas most women are more vested in having marriage happen, and if it doesn’t go according to plan something must be wrong with them.

Lately, I’ve been taking a closer look at the ready-made dating advice given to women, and while I’m sure some of it might work, most of it is focused on helping you get the man but tells you nothing about sustaining long-term love. People often throw around the phrase “whatever you did to get him is what you have to do to keep him”. And in some respects this is true but this line of thinking doesn’t allow much room for growth and maturity. Good looks and a fat wallet are not enough to sustain a relationship. Do you see that? All you need to do is take a look at Hollywood couples to understand that this is true.

I want you to be happy in love with the man who’s just right for you. And if you’re tired of being single, I want you to be in a committed relationship.  But don’t let the illusion you have in your head of the life you think your married friends are living, wedding TV shows or magazines lead you astray. Having a great man and a beautiful wedding are wonderful things, but if you want your relationship to last and stay afloat you’ve got to love the life you’re living, with or without him. And you’ve got to deal with your stuff. Now, dealing with your stuff doesn’t mean you’re going to or need to be perfect, it just means that you’ve looked at your real self long enough in the mirror to know what you need and don’t want in your life. Because here’s what I know to be true, if you’re messed up and he’s messed up, getting married solves absolutely nothing.

 

So, what if you never got married? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

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