Are You Too Picky?

March 22, 2013

Last Weekend’s Get Ready for Love Workshop was such a good time and I also celebrated my birthday on St. Patrick’s Day. I love being a March baby and I’m a true Pisces through and through. I am so grateful to be able to share and coach women around what I love talking about most: men, love and dating. There will be another Get Ready for Love 2-day workshop in early May, so stay tuned for the details!

 Are You too Picky?

I had a conversation with a client the other day and she told me that she met a guy online. Even though there was something that stood out to her about his profile, he lacked some of the things she had on her ideal mate list. She asked me if she should go out with him?

The Truth About Your Ideal Mate List

Before I met the ex-boyfriend who was the catalyst for my business as a dating and love coach, I created a list. I didn’t really know what I was doing but I read somewhere that it was a good idea to have a list, so I made one and stuck it in my journal. One of the major things I put on that list was that I wanted to be with someone who had a brother and had a strong, loving relationship with his father. As it turned out, my ex-boyfriend was pretty much everything I put on my list. He had a close relationship with his brother and had a love and admiration for his dad that I found so appealing. But guess what? Even though he was a near perfect match to my list we didn’t work out in the long run.

I tell you this story to make a point: just because someone looks and sounds really good on paper doesn’t mean he’s going to be a good match for you. Creating a list of traits you want in your ideal mate is a good jumping off point, especially if you’ve been in really bad relationships in the past and you’re just not sure what to look for in a man. But the truth is cherry picking the best character and physical traits you want in a mate is sort of like going down the assembly line at Build-A-Bear. Now, that’s not to say that you can’t meet a wonderful man who’s great and is a perfect match for you, because you can. But know that when you meet a man you’re really interested in he’s going to show up as a fully formed adult. That means he’s got good and bad traits, he gets angry and frustrated, makes mistakes and doesn’t always do or say the right thing. But if he’s looking for love that means he wants a relationship and is willing to work with you to make it happen.

So, by all means create your ideal mate list so you can get it out of your head. Then have about 3 or 4 things you absolutely must have in a relationship, and focus on the connection and how you feel when you’re with him.

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