You Suck at Dating & Why it Doesn’t Matter

July 19, 2013

I want to thank those of you who came out to the Cheek’d Summer Lovin’ Party! It was so great to see familiar faces and to watch authentic connections being made.

The Ultimate Day of Love

Are you celebrating Tu B’Av on Monday, July 22nd? According to Arielle Ford It is a cosmic window in time where the potential of two souls to reunite is greater than any other day of the year. Sounds pretty exciting to me!

I don’t know how you feel about love rituals, but I firmly believe in setting intentions about relationships. So, why not use the symbolic day of Tu Ba’v to get into alignment with that which you believe and create the love you want? You can read more about how to create a love ritual here. I’m going to do a ritual of my own, so feel free to join me.



You Suck at Dating and Why it Doesn’t Matter

Here is the honest truth: you probably suck at dating.

Because everybody sucks at dating. Nobody does it just right. Everybody gets it wrong.

But here’s why it doesn’t matter: even though pretty much everyone sucks at dating, all most people want is to genuinely connect with someone they find appealing, mistakes, flaws and all.

This past week I was giving free dating advice at the Cheek’d Summer Lovin’ party. And while I exclusively work with women to help them get ready for love by dating from the inside out, I love talking to men about dating and relationships. And several men came to my table asking for dating advice. I honestly have to say, most of them were attractive, relationship-oriented men, many of whom had spent some time alone after a long-term relationship, and were eager to learn what they could do to meet the kind of woman who sparked their interest.

Well, a few things stood out to me while chatting with these men:

1. Men talk about dating differently than women do. It appears that while they ultimately want to be in a long-term relationship, they approach dating with a let’s-see-what-develops kind of attitude.

2. Men don’t want to intentionally hurt you or be an asshole, even if they don’t want to be in a long-term relationship with you. This does not apply to the narcissistic player types, I’m talking about the average guy.

3. Men want to make a connection just like women do.

4. Men suck at dating and often don’t get it “right” or they say the wrong thing, but they keep going.

It was so interesting to be an observer/advisor at this party. I wasn’t there as a full on participant, so I got a birds eye view of what my clients experience. I saw the insecurities of both the men and the women come to the surface, and that awkward moment when someone gets approached but wasn’t interested. It’s all a very beautifully awkward dance, although it doesn’t feel that way when you’re in it.

The point I’m trying to make is that everybody struggles with dating and nobody does everything just right, all the time. And despite of that, love connections and relationships are forming everyday.

Do you suck at dating? How do you navigate social settings and interact with men? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you.

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