Another Scandal Love Lesson

November 1, 2013


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Choose who Chooses You

I’m obsessed with the show Scandal, just like everyone else, and I know I’ve talked about it before. In addition to all of the cheating, backstabbing and scandalous behavior, there are actually a lot of love lessons to be gleaned from the show.

There was a scene in last night’s episode when the President is in the bathroom laughing and discussing his speech for the White House correspondents dinner with his mistress, and star of the show, Olivia Pope, while his wife listened in. Now, I love watching Olivia Pope gladiate and do her thing, but I feel for Mellie, the President’s wife. And I feel for her because she wants the love, attention, and affection of her husband who constantly chooses another woman over her, despite staying in the marriage. And you can tell that Mellie loves her husband, but there’s still not much she can do to stop him from wanting somebody else.

So what does Scandal have to do with you?

Choose the one who is choosing you and let go for the rest. It’s so easy to hold on to lost love, men who once loved you but have moved on with their lives, or to fantasize about the one who you can’t take your eyes off of but who just doesn’t seem to notice you.

And I get it, I really do.

But here’s what I know, it is impossible to be in a reciprocal, loving relationship with someone who is not actively choosing to be with you. This is also true for any relationship you might be in that has you doing all of the work or stuck in the friend zone hoping that the other person will come around and see you as a viable option.

What makes love work and worthwhile is the delicate balance between choosing someone you want who simultaneously wants to be with you. There’s even an old school philosophy that says a woman should only marry a man who loves her more than she loves him. I don’t think this philosophy is right or wrong, and I’ll have to break it down as to why another time. But for now, spend a little more time focusing on the one who wants to get to know and spend time with you. Because pining for love and hoping they’ll come around is so 90’s and never really gets you what you truly want, and that is to be loved.

I’m not telling you to go out with the guy who you think is a total dog and a bad match for you just because he asked you out. But you have to find the balance between who you want and who wants you. That’s when the magic happens.

Is it hard for you to choose the one who is choosing you? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

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