July 4, 2014
The Men Are Talking: dating, love, women & relationships
There are still tickets available for the Men on Love panel happening on Wednesday, July 9th at 6:30PM in New York City!
I’ve spent the past week talking to the men who are going to be on the panel, getting to know them and their perspective on love, women, dating and relationships. And I’m so excited to have these awesome men share with you.
As the moderator, I’ll be asking a ton of questions, but there will be lots of time for Q&A with the audience.
This is going to be an awesome event, you can get your tickets here.
Hope to see you there!
Is He Worth Giving Up Your Freedom?
From my teens to mid-20’s, I was incredibly adventurous. During that period of my life, I traveled to over 20 countries and thought I wanted to be a Cultural Anthropologist. I was so in love with getting to know people from other cultures and seeing the world, it seemed like that’s what I would do for the rest of my life.
But during my sophomore year of college, somebody scared me with their own fears about my future, and I settled on a Social Work degree. It was something I was good at, and the field had better job prospects. But I continued to travel and explore the world, I moved to New York City and did a stint in the Peace Corps. But I started longing for some stability, so I moved back to NYC, bought an apartment, got a couch and for the first time in my life I started to think about marriage.
Since I broke free from the ball-and-chain that was my 9-5 job to be a full-time Love Coach, I’ve been slowly adding more adventure back into my life. Taking more weekend trips and getting back to the things I used to enjoy.
So what does this have to do with your love life?
Make sure the guy you choose is worth your freedom.
Even if the man you end up with is perfectly compatible with you in every way, there are still freedoms and opportunities you will have to give up to make the relationship work. If you’re used to living alone and picking up and going to Belize at a moment’s notice, you’ll have to adjust to taking someone else into consideration as you make plans.
I believe love and relationships are SO worth it, but we always talk about meeting the right man in terms of what we’ll gain, but we rarely focus on what we’ll have to give up. Women these days are creating amazing lives and doing really cool shit in the world. I’m not saying you can’t have all of that AND be with a really great guy, but things will be different. It’s no longer all about you and your big dreams and plans, you will have another human being to consider.
In retrospect, I never quite made it down the aisle with any of the great men that I dated, because I wasn’t ready to give up my freedom. All that time, I thought they were the problem. I thought they just didn’t want to make a lifelong commitment, and it turns out it was me, putting up walls and protecting myself from from a life I was not ready for.
While you’re out there dating and looking for love, make sure the man you choose is worth it. Listen to your intuition, and allow the experience with the man in your life to confirm what your intuition has already told you. And if the relationship feels wrong or off, don’t commit and hold on out of the fear of being alone. Giving up your freedom is worth it, provided it’s for the right person.
On this Independence Day, I invite you to take stock of your freedom as a single, carefree woman and what it truly means to give that up for a shared life with somebody you love. Are you really ready for it? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.