September 5, 2014
You have been lied to about marriage and children, and I want to help you get it right before you end up in a situation that you’ll later regret.
If you want marriage and children, NOW is the time to be making the choices and decisions that will align with the kind of future you want for yourself.
You know I’m not the kind of Love Coach that issues warnings or uses scare tactics to get you to make sweeping changes in how you’re dating…But it’s time we had a very sobering conversation about your future.
Just for a moment, I want you to put aside all of your utopic ideals and fantasies about having it all. Suspend just for the duration of this article everything you’ve read or heard about women getting married later in life and having children well into their 40’s, and let’s get real.
I know I’m going to sound like an old school marm, but if you want marriage and children, you need to make your fertility a priority. I know there are tons of drugs and procedures out there, but I highly encourage you to take advantage of your youth if children are important. And that means making finding a mate a top priority as well.
The bottom line is this: You don’t have all day.
I can’t tell you how many women I’ve talked to in their 40’s who wanted a family, and regretted not paying it more attention in their 20’s and early 30’s. Society is leading you astray. There is absolutely nothing wrong with making marriage and motherhood a priority if that’s what you want.
If children aren’t a priority for you, then you don’t have to worry about it. Children were always optional for me, so I never needed to make it a priority in my life. It didn’t bother me to think that I might never be a mom. But if it’s a problem for you, give it your attention.
Making marriage and children your top priority doesn’t make you less of a modern woman; nobody’s going to pull your feminist card if you do. Having children gets harder past a certain age, that’s a fact. Don’t allow it to drive you crazy, but be aware of it.
You might be thinking “Trenia, I want to make marriage and having a family a priority, but I can’t seem to meet the right guy to make it happen.”
I get that.
But at least be honest with yourself so that you can be on the path to getting it. Don’t pretend you’re content working 70 hours a week and jetsetting with your friends to the next international party town, when what you want is a baby and a husband.
Now let me be perfectly clear: there’s nothing wrong with putting your career and other interests first, as long as it’s what you choose. Giving yourself 100% to your work, friends and travel with love and relationships in second place can be a great life as well. As a matter of fact, if more women were honest with themselves, I believe they would choose that kind of life over marriage and children. But I don’t want you to sacrifice something that has a time limit because you don’t make it a priority or you’re scared it will never happen for you.
This is why I want you to come to the What Happens after Happily Ever After? panel I’m hosting on Tuesday, September 9th, so that you can hear from women who have been in your shoes. Each of the women on the panel made different choices about marriage and children depending on what they wanted out of life, and hearing their stories will give you some perspective.
It’s time to really go for it. If marriage and children are what you want, let’s find out what might be preventing you from having it and move through it so you can get what you want.
Join me on Tuesday, September 9th at 7PM for the Women on Love panel. We’re going to be talking about this and so much more! So if you’re stuck in a rut in your dating life, or if you’re not sure how you’re going to make this marriage and kids things happen, this is where you need to be! You can Register here.
Do you want a husband and children, but aren’t making it a priority in our life? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.