October 10, 2014
“Trenia, there are a lot of Peter Pan’s in this town.”
That’s how one woman described men in New York City to me. Always playing the field and never wanting to grow up. I thought it was funny, but there are also plenty of men who don’t fit that description. All you have to do is look around the Upper West Side or Park Slope, Brooklyn and you’ll see dozens of men with wedding rings opening juice boxes and pushing strollers.
The idea that there are no good men where you live is really a defense mechanism. This kind of thinking is your way of shielding yourself from one of two things: 1. Feeling like you’re never going to meet anyone and end up alone. 2. You’ve been hurt and disappointed too many times, and you don’t want to put yourself out there anymore.
It’s really important to get to the root of what’s really bothering you about what’s happening or not happening in your dating life, instead of making sweeping generalizations about the men in your town. Because when you know what the real issue is, you can do something about it.
In my upcoming webinar, How to Meet Great Guys, I’m going to be talking about the specific things you can do to meet men in your hometown and have fun while doing it. Because dating and meeting new men should be fun!
So here’s the truth: every city has good men, even yours. As tempting as it can be to write off all of the men where you live, don’t give up just yet. You would think that in a city like New York, women wouldn’t have this problem. But it’s just as easy to think there are no available, single men in a city of 10 million as it is a place like Scranton, Pennsylvania.
But let’s be honest, there are some external factors that might make dating where you live more challenging, but not impossible.
I’ve dated and been in loving relationships with men as a curvy woman in New York City for over 13 years. And honestly, I don’t get as many dates as my thinner friends. But, I know how to spot a quality man with good character and integrity, and I won’t accept anything less than that. You’ll never find me wasting time on a man who’s not a grown up or is unclear about how to treat a woman. So when I’m dating or in a relationship, it’s with a great guy.
It doesn’t matter if you date 5 men or 500 men to get to the right guy, because you’re only looking for One.
If you’re struggling to meet decent men, come hang out with me on the How to Meet Great Guys webinar on Wednesday, October 22nd at 7PM EST. You’ll leave with a fresh perspective on the men around you and a practical way to meet the kind of men you actually want to date.
What’s it like dating in your city? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.