December 5, 2014
Here’s the truth: If you’ve never seen anyone get it right, it’s hard to believe it can be done.
The biggest challenge my clients often face is allowing themselves to believe that the kind of relationship they want is really possible. A woman will tell me something along the lines of “I really want to get married and have a family”. But the deeper we dig, what’s discovered is that she doesn’t trust men or even like them very much.
Now, can you imagine how challenging it must be to find a husband if you don’t believe that men can be trusted?
I’m not saying you’re not justified if you don’t trust men, but that core belief about men will constantly work against you. When you keep telling yourself that you’re ready to get married and you want to meet the right man, but deep down you believe any man that comes into your life will hurt you, there’s a civil war within you.
Your conscious mind wants the guy, but your subconscious doesn’t. Not really.
And it make sense.
If all you’ve ever seen men do is lie, cheat and do hurtful things, of course you’re not going to trust them. So much of this stems back to your father and how he treated your mother. Even if your parents had a relatively stable relationship, if your dad mistreated or made your mom feel like she couldn’t trust your dad in some way, chances are you picked up on it.
Even if you have a great relationship with your dad, I encourage you to look at him not just as your father, but as a man. When you do that, what do you see?
If you want to actualize your dream of meeting the right man, get the two conflicting parts of yourself on the same page.
And in order to do that, the first thing you need to do is admit that you really do want a loving relationship, but there’s a part of you that’s either really scared or doesn’t trust that a man will do right by you.
Secondly, It’s hard to believe that all men don’t cheat or that a healthy, loving relationship can last, when you don’t have any examples around you.
So I want you to try a little experiment. Find 10 happily married couples that have been married for 5 years or more, and ask them what marriage is really like and what they love about their spouse.
When you start to see healthy loving relationships, you’ll start really believing that you can have it.
Leave a comment and share your thoughts.